Thoughts on Body Heat and Machine Dependency

badinterns

 

Every year, when the fall chill sets in but it’s not yet cold enough for the heat to turn on, we humans in this apartment are swarmed by The Pets. I know they are mostly using us for body heat, but it’s hard not to conflate the reaction with love.

The sharing of body heat is intimate, regardless.

Yesterday, I remarked to my wife that I have come to believe that her love for me increases by about 20% in the fall. She stand, sits closer to me, holds me a little longer when we embrace.

We’re all awakened into a sort of greater, more primal intimacy, when the weather turns — aren’t we? There’s a shift in body language, an uptick, a sharpening of the stride now that the heat of summer has passed. There’s a vitality to it.

In similar fashion, it has occurred to me over time — that I have initiated production of every one of my films in the fall. Every last one of them.

Something thrives in me, at this time of the year. I’m sure it also coincides with how life and business at large tends to pick up, in the months leading up to the holidays and to year-end financial reporting deadlines — but for the sake of beauty let’s stick to a discussion of nature for the moment.

I got a new phone yesterday. The process took two and a half hours. Granted, I switched carriers. Still, it was a long time. Short of actual labor, or watching a movie — I don’t do anything for over two hours straight. Maybe that’s sad, but I think it also might be typical.

With this in mind, at one point during the process, while in conversation with the sales associate and my wife, I only semi-jokingly wondered aloud whether, at this point, we were working for the machines — versus the other way around.

I know I struggle with device-addiction. It’s a real issue, and one exacerbated by big businesses constantly battling for the newest most precious commodity after our labor — as much of our divided attention that they can win, and leverage to their interests.

That’s not entirely a judgement. The battling is necessary, to a point.

But these wars are often bloodless, not in terms of a lack of victimhood (there are certainly victims), but rather the exact primal terms that my dog and cat, and some ancient part of you and me, instinctually turn to and understand.

I worry about this erosion of warmth. This overcrowding of the human by the machine. Science fiction has given us plenty of examples of the singularity apocalypse. They’re big and dramatic, and effective for all their melodrama and loudness.

But the actuality of a loss of humanity is often much less glamorous, slower and more sad. This is what we have to fear, I think. It helps me to remember why I tether myself to my phone — to help keep me productive, moving forward in my vision, and entertained (in moderation) in the meantime.

It also helps to take a moment to allow my animals to crawl over me, despite the fact that the laptop is open and ready. To linger in my wife’s arms as we express love and combat the incremental chill of life — together.

 

11903868_10102022863132862_3363202786901023781_n-1My name is Michael. I am a Writer and Filmmaker of hopeful stories for complex people. Lately, I have been sharing some reflections and stories every morning. Once per month, I send a special note to those on my email list. They get exclusive stories and advanced (sometimes free) access to my work. You can join this exclusive group here. Thanks for reading.

Answer The Call, Quiet The Demons

untitled-design-4

 

It’s a few minutes shy of 7AM, on a Saturday, as a write this — and I hate you.

Sorry. I don’t hate you.

I love you.

I feel as if I might be sending mixed signals.

Yesterday concluded my experiment of writing here everyday for a month. Today marks the start of a new month. Technically, I am not committed to posting today. But here I am.

The truth is that I’ve been having too much fun. The exercise has grounded me, which in retrospect was probably part of the intention all the long. Before I started it, I was thrashing a little.

Too tired to jump into another film so soon. Too scared still to begin rewriting the book of fiction I finished earlier this year.

But now? Today? I have the will to begin, or at least to begin considering, these bigger things. The daily practice of doing just a little, at the earliest point if the day, and doing it wholeheartedly and without complication or expectation — it’s been instructive.

Daily practice. That’s what I’ve been turning over, in my head. What do I need to do, today, right now, to answer the call and quiet the demons?

Earlier this morning, I found myself standing in the hallway outside my bedroom. I had woken up a few minutes ago, had gotten up for a nice strong morning pee. I looked at my bed, and my wife sleeping soundly in it, the soft dim light of a clouded morning just barely illuminating the edges of everything in the room.

I set a timer on my phone that would wake me up after forty-five more minutes of sleep — if I went back to bed.

But I didn’t go back to bed. I thought about whether it was what I wanted. It wasn’t. Then I considered how I might physically feel, having woken up and then gone back to sleep. I know that feeling. Wet cotton in the temples.

I didn’t want it.

I’m excited to be here. I’m excited for today. So, here I am showing up and owning that excitement. That I want.

11903868_10102022863132862_3363202786901023781_n-1My name is Michael. I am a Writer and Filmmaker of hopeful stories for complex people. Lately, I have been sharing some reflections and stories every morning. Once per month, I send a special note to those on my email list. They get exclusive stories and advanced (sometimes free) access to my work. You can join this exclusive group here. Thanks for reading.

Doing It.

we-are-happiest-and-most-effective-when-the-doing-comes-first

 

I’m feeling a bit run-down so I’m going to keep things short for today. I’ve now written here every day this month. It feels good. I might keep it up. Full list of posts below.

Prior to this experiment, on most weeks, I would write about four or five times per week. That’s a pretty good average — but this feels better.

At first, though I did initially need a break from screenwriting, it worried me — that I was directing energy towards these essays (and I use that term loosely) instead of the script of the day.

But then I adjusted, and soon I was doing both. We make time for what’s important, if and when we’re able to gather the courage and keep up the momentum needed to turn daily to what’s important.

It’s not always easy, though. That’s what I’ve liked about this practice.

By getting up early, and writing and publishing first thing, I accomplish something important. I communicate with those following this site and my work. I get some thoughts out of my head. Some of those thoughts lead to new thoughts.

It’s work, but it’s work I love.

I don’t love it every day. On some day’s, it’s tough. On others, it’s fun(ny).

This came up in my talk with Simon Taufique on Coffee With Creatives, and with other guests as well — it’s about the doing. The doing is what we love. Do strategy, forethought, planning have their places? Yes. But it’s about that balance.

We are happiest and most effective when the doing comes first. And, yes, that can be applied to love and sex as well. Thanks for reading!

This is part thirty of a thirty day trial, during which I am writing and publishing a post every day. No refunds. Comments welcome and encouraged!

Day 01: Struggles and Wonders and Dying in  Chair

Day 02: Fear, Panic, Identity and Anti-Focus

Day 03: Purple Sky of Towering Clouds Over a Far-off City

Day 04: Circle Up and Laugh

Day 05: On The Future of Labor

Day 06: Appreciating Difficulty, Harnessing its Momentum

Day 07: The Word for World is Earth

Day 08: It’s About The Dreaming, Not The Dream

Day 09: Moments of Presence: CWC Interview (Writer Laura Goode)

Day 10: Simmering Little Wrath of The Annoyed Man

Day 11: Tragedy, Remembrance and Wonder

Day 12: A New Light Borrowed or Discovered

Day 13: Productivity Tips for Anyone Prone to Overwhelm (Like Me)

Day 14: Legitimately Va-goo

Day 15: Sex-Bleating and Cat Vomit

Day 16: The Waiting Place

Day 17: 6 Ways to Bring Balance to the (Artistic) Force

Day 18: How to Decide What to Make Next

Day 19: Take Faith for Yourself, Give Them Skepticism

Day 20: All I Need Is My Lamp and My Dog!

Day 21: Why I’m Writing and Publishing, First Thing Every Morning

Day 22: The Routine Dance: Rewards and Perils

Day 23: How to Be Better: Perspective and Self-Compassion

Day 24: Still The Finger, Silence The Vlog

Day 25: A Light Chill Wind in Early Fall

Day 26: The Case for An Open Heart

Day 27: How Can I Help? CWC Interview (Composer/Producer Simon Taufique)

Day 28: The Dangers of “The Project Wheel”

Day 29: Why It’s Essential to MOVE YOUR DAMN BUS

Why It’s Essential To MOVE YOUR DAMN BUS!

no-idea-how-severely-their-bus-is-affecting-others

 

I’m getting a late start this morning, because I couldn’t keep my dog off my lap long enough to replace her with my computer. This task literally took five minutes. I told her to get down. She would get down. Then she would jump back up.

The truth is, though, I cherish my morning pup time. I might have let her hang out for some snuggles, first. That’s between us.

I can’t tell you how different it feels to wake up in the morning knowing that there’s an unreasonably happy furry thing waiting for you to roll out of bed. My wife could probably tell you. Except I don’t usually wake up that happy.

 

71e

 

So, tomorrow is the last day of #30DaysBlogging. A list of earlier posts is copied below.

It’s been fun. To be honest, it’s also been a bit difficult. I started strong. There were some other peaks, whether of energy or verve, but I’ve been a bit tired. I want to be careful of that.

I don’t have anything explicit to reflect upon this morning (clearly). It’s cold, which is fine. That’s why the dog is on top of me. I slept last night. There are an awful lot of dirty dishes in the sink, spilling over onto the kitchen counter. A few minutes ago, I fantasized about tossing a few grenades in there — solving the problem for good.

I still might do that. Except it would cut me off from the fridge, and my Diet Cream Soda. I’ll need that later.

Right now, there’s a traffic jam outside my window. People are’t happy about it. I think a bus is waiting for a kid. The reason for this guess — a woman has been leaning on her horn and shouting: “MOVE YOUR DAMN BUS! MOVE YOUR DAMN BUS! MOOOVE YOUR DAMN BUS.”

I don’t know, lady. Sometimes there is a bus. You’re only making it worse for everyone else.

But maybe she’s late for work. Or maybe she’s an angel in disguise, playing chess against a sly demon opponent, and they’re both using the vehicles of Brooklyn as pieces in their cosmic game. Maybe her opponent has been taking a long time. Has his finger on that bus. Keeps rolling it back and forth, in the same spot.

I don’t know. My morning tea is just starting to hit me. I don’t even know why you’re still here. Don’t get me wrong, it’s nice, but you can go. We’re just fooling around this morning.

I wish I had thought to record that woman. I could have set her as the tone for reminders in my phone: “MOVE YOUR DAMN BUS!”

Indeed.

Tomorrow is Friday. MOVE YOUR DAMN BUS, WORKWEEK.

This is part twenty-nine of a thirty day trial, during which I am writing and publishing a post every day. No refunds. Comments welcome and encouraged!

Day 01: Struggles and Wonders and Dying in  Chair

Day 02: Fear, Panic, Identity and Anti-Focus

Day 03: Purple Sky of Towering Clouds Over a Far-off City

Day 04: Circle Up and Laugh

Day 05: On The Future of Labor

Day 06: Appreciating Difficulty, Harnessing its Momentum

Day 07: The Word for World is Earth

Day 08: It’s About The Dreaming, Not The Dream

Day 09: Moments of Presence: CWC Interview (Writer Laura Goode)

Day 10: Simmering Little Wrath of The Annoyed Man

Day 11: Tragedy, Remembrance and Wonder

Day 12: A New Light Borrowed or Discovered

Day 13: Productivity Tips for Anyone Prone to Overwhelm (Like Me)

Day 14: Legitimately Va-goo

Day 15: Sex-Bleating and Cat Vomit

Day 16: The Waiting Place

Day 17: 6 Ways to Bring Balance to the (Artistic) Force

Day 18: How to Decide What to Make Next

Day 19: Take Faith for Yourself, Give Them Skepticism

Day 20: All I Need Is My Lamp and My Dog!

Day 21: Why I’m Writing and Publishing, First Thing Every Morning

Day 22: The Routine Dance: Rewards and Perils

Day 23: How to Be Better: Perspective and Self-Compassion

Day 24: Still The Finger, Silence The Vlog

Day 25: A Light Chill Wind in Early Fall

Day 26: The Case for An Open Heart

Day 27: How Can I Help? CWC Interview (Composer/Producer Simon Taufique)

Day 28: The Dangers of “The Project Wheel”

The Dangers of “The Project Wheel”

practice

 

I have been itchy lately. I don’t mean in the pants.

What I mean is that I want to make something. Direct something. Shoot something. This seems to happen every year around this time. The Videoblogs, Multiverse, The Confession, all were shot in the fall.

I’ve got an idea. A random one. Again, this is how each of those projects came about.

This doesn’t have anything to do with the new script, or the other new script. It’s a separate thing. That has concerned me a bit — am I just spinning The Project Wheel?

I don’t think so. It’s an understandable question. But I’m not sure my situation is any different now, as a completely independent filmmaker, that it would be if I were taking meetings. The Videoblogs is done but still out there, so the question naturally occurs as to what is next.

At the same time, I just can’t manage a production of that scale, at such an effectively high budget (at least in terms of labor) right now. I can’t fit it into my life, and I won’t sacrifice my health again.

And yet staying in the creative mindset is healthy for me. So, what to do?

I think it might be best for me to do what I’m doing here, with this daily blog post experiment. Namely, to jump in. To fit the idea into the space, and give it the resources, that I have. Nothing more, nothing less.

Writers write, directors direct, I’m a writer and director.

The Project Wheel only becomes a danger if and when we turn it but never let it stop to rest on one idea, that we then execute. Or if we constantly change the face of the wheel. There will always be fears, and/or legitimate challenges in the way of completing a thing. We can’t let fear rule — I want to lead with an open heart.

But Simon Taufique and I spoke about this on the podcast. People — the audience, decision-makers and gatekeepers, collaborators — are always looking for new and different things. We need to keep on creating, not only for ourselves but for our careers.

So, I’ll probably scratch the itch. Glad we had this talk. More later.

This is part twenty-eight of a thirty day trial, during which I am writing and publishing a post every day. No refunds. Comments welcome and encouraged!

Day 01: Struggles and Wonders and Dying in  Chair

Day 02: Fear, Panic, Identity and Anti-Focus

Day 03: Purple Sky of Towering Clouds Over a Far-off City

Day 04: Circle Up and Laugh

Day 05: On The Future of Labor

Day 06: Appreciating Difficulty, Harnessing its Momentum

Day 07: The Word for World is Earth

Day 08: It’s About The Dreaming, Not The Dream

Day 09: Moments of Presence: CWC Interview (Writer Laura Goode)

Day 10: Simmering Little Wrath of The Annoyed Man

Day 11: Tragedy, Remembrance and Wonder

Day 12: A New Light Borrowed or Discovered

Day 13: Productivity Tips for Anyone Prone to Overwhelm (Like Me)

Day 14: Legitimately Va-goo

Day 15: Sex-Bleating and Cat Vomit

Day 16: The Waiting Place

Day 17: 6 Ways to Bring Balance to the (Artistic) Force

Day 18: How to Decide What to Make Next

Day 19: Take Faith for Yourself, Give Them Skepticism

Day 20: All I Need Is My Lamp and My Dog!

Day 21: Why I’m Writing and Publishing, First Thing Every Morning

Day 22: The Routine Dance: Rewards and Perils

Day 23: How to Be Better: Perspective and Self-Compassion

Day 24: Still The Finger, Silence The Vlog

Day 25: A Light Chill Wind in Early Fall

Day 26: The Case for An Open Heart

Day 27: How Can I Help? CWC Interview (Composer/Producer Simon Taufique)

How Can I Help? Composer/Producer Simon Taufique on Coffee With Creatives

simon

 

Simon Taufique loved music, but didn’t have the full training or the opportunity to pursue the craft — until a convergence of circumstances led him to just take the leap. He eventually began to specialize in composing for film.

Before long, Simon’s additional predilections — for working collaboratively, helping others to achieve a shared vision, and for leveraging strategy to the benefit of any one project — drove him to begin taking on producing responsibilities. As part of his philosophy of asking “How Can I Help?” he now produces films so that he can help collaborators pursue their combined vision, including his own contributions to the score.

Simon’s biggest project to date, Imperium, finds him working with A-list talent like Daniel Radcliffe and Toni Collette. We had a great conversation on this episode of Coffee With Creatives.

Topics covered include:

  • How Simon was inspired by friend M. Night Shyamalan to be creative by any means necessary
  • How his start in tech allowed him to make enough money to escape the 9-5 and focus more squarely on creative pursuits
  • How and why September 11th became a personal turning point for Simon creatively
  • The indie ethos — focusing on positioning and strategy, and figuring out a way to get it done
  • How and why careerist decision-making can be a wrong-headed approach in the long term
  • Owning the creativity, but letting go of the results
  • Making challenges and boundaries work for you
  • The benefits and importance of decisiveness
  • The obvious and less-obvious advantages of working with A-list talent
  • Relieving professional and career pressure by creating constantly

That’s a ton of good and useful stuff. Imperium is available on most digital video platforms, and you can follow Simon on Twitter here.

 

Finally, I have two announcements to make, which are also covered in this episode of the podcast.

The first is that Coffee With Creatives now has over 5,000 listeners! Hooray, us! In celebration, I am giving away a $25 Amazon Gift Card.

For a chance to win the gift card, send an email to me through this site and include a screenshot of either: 1) An iTunes review of the podcast, written by you, or 2) A social media post, written by you, in which you link to this or another favorite episode. A winner will be chosen randomly from all those who write in. Or maybe I’ll decide to award the review or share that most strikes my fancy. Only time will tell.

Also, I will be participating in a Live Director’s Commentary for my film, The Videoblogs, on October 9th. The event is virtual, and is being presented by the nsavides podcast (and its host, Nick Savides). Producer Jenna Edwards is also participating, and there are over $500+ in prizes being offered to participants. So, get on it!

As reminders, you can also subscribe to Coffee with Creatives on iTunes and/or support the podcast on Patreon.

 

14424924_10102658958298052_4143904899027883556_o-1

 

The Case for An Open Heart

11115771_10101770277970552_5015723792664692646_n

 

It’s not easy to live with an open heart.

An argument could be made that we aren’t meant to so live, or shouldn’t try it. Open-heartedness, it could be said, belongs outside the realm of the rational. It’s inefficient.

Except that argument is crap.

As humans, we feel. We feel all day. We feel fear, hope, happiness, dread — to list a few I’ve tried on already this morning, before my first sip of tea. We feel when we expect to having feelings (such as while consuming entertainment), and, often, when we don’t or would rather not (at work). Even when we don’t want to, think we can’t possibly, or desperately wish to stop…we always feel.

As children, perhaps, we accept this. Even as, at the same time, we don’t as fully understand it.

In adulthood, though, we often forget. Don’t we?

Either we forget that we’re emotional beings, with deep biological biases towards certain behavioral reactions, rooted in millennia of evolution — or we chose to or are coerced towards ignoring the fact.

I find this a bit ironic, and sad, considering how reliant we have become on fear — as a motivator for “efficiency” or “safety”. Similarly, it seems to me, we turn to fear for evidence to support sameness, to protect on the macro and micro level against unknown change.

But fear doesn’t do much more than that, does it — keep us “protected” from change? Excepting cases of actual, evidenced personal or social danger. Instead, it leaves us in stasis, or, worse, moving essentially backwards as we stand still and the world (as it will) moves on.

Still, as we age, we close our hearts. We grow up out of childhood, perhaps begin to feel more deeply, at the same time as we find ourselves able to consider — if not grasp — larger ideas, and as this goes on we learn to close our hearts.

Self-protection is not useless, to be clear. But close-heartedness as a default? I tried that approach for a long time. It exhausted me.

We don’t only feel fear. It’s not only bad things that happen in the world — though one would be forgiven for believing that, in absorbing the “news” of the day, and in considering much of contemporary entertainment.

The subtext to all this “reporting”? That danger lurks behind every turn. That disaster is imminent. In between, perhaps, we’re fed an occasional example that provides just enough hope-stuff to keep us going another day.

This. Cycle. Is. Exhausting.

It’s not reporting. It’s not entertainment. It’s a confidence game, wherein we are the marks, the currency is cynicism, and the reward is control.

Life is at least more robust, more balanced on average by beauty, than the narratives of the day would have us believe. This imbalance, in my view, generates and sustains much of the closed-heartedness with which many of us approach life.

We might keep our heart’s door open just a crack, from day to day, but not much wider. We might then swing it dangerously wide open, in private, desperate moments, with no intention to keep them that way as drunken nights give way to hangover mornings. And thusly a general default to close-heartedness is sustained.

We just can’t afford the risk of a more consistently open heart. Or so we think.

I would advocate for more open-heartedness. I would recommend risking a little more pain, not necessarily because it brings more reward, but because the ongoing experience of living through a fuller range of authentic emotion has the capacity to ground us more completely in our own humanity.

Such a way of life dissolves the artifice of a flat risk-reward lifestyle. It defangs fear’s claim as the ruling emotion. It leaves us dealing more readily with actual reality, versus the realities of others, fed to us with just enough of the real stuff mixed in to support direct or suggested claims that the truth isn’t being cut with lies.

After a period of adjustment, open-heartedness is much less exhausting than this addiction to fear and distress. Fear, despair, sorrow — these “negative” emotions will always be a part of our lives. It’s true that they often burn through, deplete us, as they work their way through our lives.

But this burning, this rendering-down, left alone to work naturally, will give out and give way, to make room for growth. It can’t (and doesn’t) last forever.

We don’t need to throw more fuel on the fires of fear and woe, to keep them burning. To do so leaves us only half-human, half-alive. A low-simmering fear of everything stops us from doing anything that might divert our energies away from the systems that depend on our compliance. It prevents any sort of sustained personal growth.

It’s all a delicate and maddening process, to do things differently, I know. It requires constant questioning, vigilance, much failure and re-wounding and faith. No switch exists, that we can flip.

There can be more animus to contemporary life, though, I think.

If only we could open our hearts a little wider, more often. We’re stronger, and can take a little more naturally occurring pain, than we think we can. The alternative, to numb ourselves with constant streams of antiseptic artificial woe, delivered to us externally, robs of us of the very vitalness of being alive.

We deserve more, in life. I believe that I do.

So, this is my goal for the day. In the midst of seeing to my general safety, as is practical and warranted, I will seek to keep a more open heart.

This is part twenty-six of a thirty day trial, during which I am writing and publishing a post every day. No refunds. Comments welcome and encouraged!

Day 01: Struggles and Wonders and Dying in  Chair

Day 02: Fear, Panic, Identity and Anti-Focus

Day 03: Purple Sky of Towering Clouds Over a Far-off City

Day 04: Circle Up and Laugh

Day 05: On The Future of Labor

Day 06: Appreciating Difficulty, Harnessing its Momentum

Day 07: The Word for World is Earth

Day 08: It’s About The Dreaming, Not The Dream

Day 09: Moments of Presence: CWC Interview (Writer Laura Goode)

Day 10: Simmering Little Wrath of The Annoyed Man

Day 11: Tragedy, Remembrance and Wonder

Day 12: A New Light Borrowed or Discovered

Day 13: Productivity Tips for Anyone Prone to Overwhelm (Like Me)

Day 14: Legitimately Va-goo

Day 15: Sex-Bleating and Cat Vomit

Day 16: The Waiting Place

Day 17: 6 Ways to Bring Balance to the (Artistic) Force

Day 18: How to Decide What to Make Next

Day 19: Take Faith for Yourself, Give Them Skepticism

Day 20: All I Need Is My Lamp and My Dog!

Day 21: Why I’m Writing and Publishing, First Thing Every Morning

Day 22: The Routine Dance: Rewards and Perils

Day 23: How to Be Better: Perspective and Self-Compassion

Day 24: Still The Finger, Silence The Vlog

Day 25: A Light Chill Wind in Early Fall

A Light Chill Wind in Early Fall

10629562_10101526738819962_25485207564568917_n

 

It’s nice to get the windows open. To feel a touch of chill in the air.

I like the cold. I find it bracing. I like the change of season.

I’d miss it, I think, if I lived somewhere with less-pronounced changes of season. There’s something to be said for environmental shifts, whether natural-only or when they occur when we go to other places.

Our worlds can get too small, without interruptions to our everyday observations and routines.

Something as simple as the reminder, from the chill air, that change is coming, that time and the spin of this planet continue on, outside our influence — it can be humbling. Comforting.

Nothing is permanent. The bad or the good. If and when we find ourselves enjoying more good than bad in our lives — even down to the basics of food, shelter, community, and wifi — it becomes helpful, I think, to take a moment to express gratitude.

Even if we do that privately. Quietly. Perhaps it’s even more effective when we do it in this way.

I’m having a nice weekend. The weather has been beautiful, I’ve kept good company, some creative work is brewing. I’m enjoying time with my wife and my dog (and my lamp). The cat is around, too.

It helps to remind myself why I’m here — in this space, sharing with you. It can get tricky, deciding to publish every day. If I publish but for the wrong reasons — for attention, to get it over with — then the whole point of the exercise is nullified. There’s no vulnerability and no connection.

So, instead, I try to just let come what may.

This can get difficult.

There’s a lot that goes on, every day, that saddens and upsets me. But I have learned to wait before reacting. To do what I can, where I am, rather than burn energy on anger only. I can only take care of what’s in front of me, to the best of my ability, each day — and in the process do what I can to help others when and as I am able.

I have spent enough of my life on recycled outrage. There are other, more effective responses available to the injustices of the day.

For me, much of the time, this means providing some food for thought. Some intellectual or spiritual conversation. A new or different or revisited perspective — advocated. I’m learning and accepting this fact, more and more, with each passing day.

To be honest, it’s an honor to be able to do it.

Perhaps it might seem a small task to some, but it feels good — and right — to me, to publicly converse, and to listen.

I feel human here. It often becomes hard to continue to feel human out there, not in the world at large necessarily, but in the society we’ve built that has commoditized the human spirit. Yoked it to so many exploits and outcomes that are ultimately, effectively, insignificant.

On many days, especially here in this city, it seems like the greatest madness.

But there’s beauty to it, too. There are the basics, that are never lost to us. Such as a light chill wind in early fall. This is what I where I want to turn my attention, and my exploits. To protecting and advocating for the small, poetic moments that make life what it is.

This is part twenty-five of a thirty day trial, during which I am writing and publishing a post every day. No refunds. Comments welcome and encouraged!

Day 01: Struggles and Wonders and Dying in  Chair

Day 02: Fear, Panic, Identity and Anti-Focus

Day 03: Purple Sky of Towering Clouds Over a Far-off City

Day 04: Circle Up and Laugh

Day 05: On The Future of Labor

Day 06: Appreciating Difficulty, Harnessing its Momentum

Day 07: The Word for World is Earth

Day 08: It’s About The Dreaming, Not The Dream

Day 09: Moments of Presence: CWC Interview (Writer Laura Goode)

Day 10: Simmering Little Wrath of The Annoyed Man

Day 11: Tragedy, Remembrance and Wonder

Day 12: A New Light Borrowed or Discovered

Day 13: Productivity Tips for Anyone Prone to Overwhelm (Like Me)

Day 14: Legitimately Va-goo

Day 15: Sex-Bleating and Cat Vomit

Day 16: The Waiting Place

Day 17: 6 Ways to Bring Balance to the (Artistic) Force

Day 18: How to Decide What to Make Next

Day 19: Take Faith for Yourself, Give Them Skepticism

Day 20: All I Need Is My Lamp and My Dog!

Day 21: Why I’m Writing and Publishing, First Thing Every Morning

Day 22: The Routine Dance: Rewards and Perils

Day 23: How to Be Better: Perspective and Self-Compassion

Day 24: Still The Finger, Silence The Vlog

 

Still The Finger, Silence The Vlog

Nothing was coming this morning. But I still wanted to post, and keep up my end of the bargain of publishing daily for September, so here you go. I decided to record a video. But my wife was still sleeping so I had to keep things quiet.

Enjoy! Or don’t. You have full permission to rejoin the party tomorrow. This is a mere goof. Rated R for referenced vampiric violence.

This is part twenty-four of a thirty day trial, during which I am writing and publishing a post every day. No refunds. Comments welcome and encouraged!

Day 01: Struggles and Wonders and Dying in  Chair

Day 02: Fear, Panic, Identity and Anti-Focus

Day 03: Purple Sky of Towering Clouds Over a Far-off City

Day 04: Circle Up and Laugh

Day 05: On The Future of Labor

Day 06: Appreciating Difficulty, Harnessing its Momentum

Day 07: The Word for World is Earth

Day 08: It’s About The Dreaming, Not The Dream

Day 09: Moments of Presence: CWC Interview (Writer Laura Goode)

Day 10: Simmering Little Wrath of The Annoyed Man

Day 11: Tragedy, Remembrance and Wonder

Day 12: A New Light Borrowed or Discovered

Day 13: Productivity Tips for Anyone Prone to Overwhelm (Like Me)

Day 14: Legitimately Va-goo

Day 15: Sex-Bleating and Cat Vomit

Day 16: The Waiting Place

Day 17: 6 Ways to Bring Balance to the (Artistic) Force

Day 18: How to Decide What to Make Next

Day 19: Take Faith for Yourself, Give Them Skepticism

Day 20: All I Need Is My Lamp and My Dog!

Day 21: Why I’m Writing and Publishing, First Thing Every Morning

Day 22: The Routine Dance: Rewards and Perils

Day 23: How to Be Better: Perspective and Self-Compassion

How To Be Better: Perspective and Self-Compassion

if-you-want-others-to-be-happy-practice-compassion-if-you-want-to-be-happy-practice-compassion

 

I continue to think about and reflect upon balance.

It’s a tricky dance, keeping forward progress, while also respecting the creative process — all in the midst of managing daily life. We’re all called upon to do it, though, aren’t we?

Grow and thrive. Be better. Pursue happiness.

But it’s not that simple, most of the time, is it?

If I have learned anything, it has been to do less. To listen more. Still, I know it’s a hard thing to do. I have a lot of respect for everyone trying to understand or pursue something outside the everyday tasks of what we “must” do, everyone intent on personal growth and exploration. It takes courage. It takes extra work and focus.

And I admire those able to simplify. Especially in a city like New York, where stimulus is a fact of life for most hours of the day — if not immediately and temptingly accessible at any hour via subway — it’s a tall order.

Along the way of seeking balance, it has occurred to me (again) that I have been very hard on myself at points. That I have pushed myself too hard, too desperately, for too long. This observation, as regular readers might note, is nothing new.

The self-compassion I have been feeling lately, however, is new.

Caught up in the rush and the madness of life, not to mention the snares of the past, it can become easy to forget that we all deserve the opportunity to grow, thrive and be happy. It is not our fault when the circumstance of life or our social structures fail to live up to or follow up on the promises of these things.

But it does become our responsibility, to ourselves, to shift perspective as best we can, and do what little we can, day by day, to give ourselves and others the chance to…be better. To feel better.

Not for accolades. Not for attention. But for the chance to approach balance and feel serene, the opportunity to throw off regret and to be satisfied with the gift of living. So I grieve for a self less able to see that he deserved gentler modes of conduct, and I try today to provide and seek out new support.

We’re worth the effort — all of us. It’s a big thing to do, to show up and say: “I deserve better”. It’s a less obvious response to realize that we already are enough, and that it’s our perspective, and what we do from that point, that might need to change. That’s the real hard work.

Have a great weekend. If I may — do one small nice thing for yourself this weekend. There will be a quiz.

This is part twenty-three of a thirty day trial, during which I am writing and publishing a post every day. No refunds. Comments welcome and encouraged!

Day 01: Struggles and Wonders and Dying in  Chair

Day 02: Fear, Panic, Identity and Anti-Focus

Day 03: Purple Sky of Towering Clouds Over a Far-off City

Day 04: Circle Up and Laugh

Day 05: On The Future of Labor

Day 06: Appreciating Difficulty, Harnessing its Momentum

Day 07: The Word for World is Earth

Day 08: It’s About The Dreaming, Not The Dream

Day 09: Moments of Presence: CWC Interview (Writer Laura Goode)

Day 10: Simmering Little Wrath of The Annoyed Man

Day 11: Tragedy, Remembrance and Wonder

Day 12: A New Light Borrowed or Discovered

Day 13: Productivity Tips for Anyone Prone to Overwhelm (Like Me)

Day 14: Legitimately Va-goo

Day 15: Sex-Bleating and Cat Vomit

Day 16: The Waiting Place

Day 17: 6 Ways to Bring Balance to the (Artistic) Force

Day 18: How to Decide What to Make Next

Day 19: Take Faith for Yourself, Give Them Skepticism

Day 20: All I Need Is My Lamp and My Dog!

Day 21: Why I’m Writing and Publishing, First Thing Every Morning

Day 22: The Routine Dance: Rewards and Perils