Sometimes, to find what we didn’t know we were looking for, we need to stop searching.
Discovery can be tricky like that. We search and we search, we flail and thrash, or perhaps we give up and lament. And, in my experience, that last part is often when something clicks, or reveals itself.
More accurately, perhaps, it’s when we realize one of two things — 1) That the answer has been staring us in the face all along, and is different than what we ever might have imagined, or 2) The complete opposite occurs, and we’re left instead with new, more accurate question — that any given search can truly move forward.
If that sounds a bit vague, all I can say is that I’m feeling a bit vague. Legitimately VA-goo.
This is all right. It has to be all right. If I were to fight it the vagueness, I’d be acting against my better instincts. A more appropriate reaction would be to let go and listen, I think.
I’m not sure what today will bring.
I don’t have anything particularly special planned. I don’t have any expectations, other than that certain daily routines are likely to become a part of this otherwise average weekday.
The sunrise this morning was beautiful. That’s not a va-goo observation. That’s specific, identifiable, ready to be absorbed and appreciated and held onto.
It’s been a great help these past weeks, waking up with the rising sun. Stopping by here, for a check-in. It feels right.
Speaking of discovery, last night I dreamed of finding a new door in my apartment, that I had never seen before. I opened it, without hesitation, and saw that it led to extra living space that I was excited to find.
The space was dusty, and in need of some repair. I stepped into it to explore, and soon the dream shifted, and I was in a new, transformed, spacious, open — but oddly modular — new version of my apartment.
The place felt familiar but different. There weren’t any enclosing walls, as far as I could tell. This made me uneasy but at the same time it felt right.
So I kept exploring.
This is part fourteen of a thirty day trial, during which I am writing and publishing a post every day. No refunds. Comments welcome and encouraged!
Day 04: Circle Up and Laugh
Day 05: On The Future of Labor
Day 07: The Word for World is Earth
Day 11: Tragedy, Remembrance and Wonder